More than meets the eye

Today I realized; nothing is really that hard to comprehend if you pay close attention.

People are complex creatures, I absolutely agree. But we are creatures of habit, and that makes us predictable to some extent. To understand a person takes a lot of time to slowly put together minuscule puzzle pieces of habit and pattern. But that doesn’t render the comprehension impossible.

Quite too often we hear people saying things like “sometimes I really don’t understand you at all”. And I wonder, after knowing someone that long, can we really not understand someone at all? If that is so, then what were we doing during all that time spent together if we weren’t trying to know that person?

There are always reasons behind every behaviour we display. Sometimes we are conscious of it, and sometimes we aren’t. But there are always reasons. Quite often, I realized, differing behaviours spring out from the same underlying reason. I think understanding a person is trying to figure out those underlying reasons. And the belief systems and values and principles associated with those reasons that makes up the core of a person’s personality.

When we are able to map out the very core of a person, then acceptance and empathy becomes easy to extend.


Friends We Grew Up With


1. The Almighty

The class queen, who had that special center seat at the usual canteen bench. She never walked around alone; always surrounded with people. She never has to get her own lunch because someone else would offer to get it for her. She knows everyone, including you, but sometimes you’d wonder what goes behind that smile. Everyone wants to be her friend, because it’s cool. Befriending her is a must, else risk sparking controversy.

2. The Indifferent

The Inert, and the immensely stable. To them, social pressure is a myth. They stand their ground, hardly swayed by opinions about them or others. They don’t subscribe to what’s popular just because it is, and they dare to go against the flow. They are not quite concerned if they have 5 or 5,000 friends on Facebook, if they even have an account to begin with. The world is their playground, and they shape it exactly how they want it to be.

3. The Princess

Anything and everything can be too hard. They’d rather spend three hours on a manicure than an hour in the gym. Nothing should be done alone, companions are always necessary. Fragility is always displayed because it is an ideal feminine trait. The sun equates to sweating and sweating is unacceptable. Seat priority should be given; ladies should go first. Hardship has never and will never be part of their history.

4. The Unpopular

The prime target for bullying stints, the laughing stock of the parade. No one wants to be associated with them. Nothing they do will ever and should ever look cool. They are looked upon with judgmental eyes and condescending stares. They cannot be allowed to fit in. You wonder who labelled them as unpopular in the first place; somehow everyone just knows that’s the unwelcomed kid on the block.

5. The Geek

The cerebral and intellectual whose mind processes logic and details seemingly ten times faster than the average individual. Nothing is too hard to understand; math is always easy. Decisions should be based on consistent logic; emotions are a waste of time. Quantum physics is amazing.

6. The Happy Pill

Nothing can quite bring them down or spoil their day. There’s always a silver lining, and a bright side to everything. They focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, not the darkness in between. They genuinely see good in people. They give the benefit of the doubt. There’s always better tomorrows and happier days. They carry an air of positive vibes wherever they go. Smiling is default; frowning is non-existent.

7. The Magnanimous

It is always others before self. There is no such thing is giving too much because giving is the only way to receive. They’d rather give away their lunch boxes than see a friend go without recess; they’d have no qualms in standing up for others when in need. They’d never reject your request for a talk on the phone, and they’d listen to you pour out your soul for hours so that you’d feel feel better. Their quality of life hinges on the well-being of others. They give relentlessly.